im sitting in a coffee shop in new hampshire, and a song starts playing by willy porter, a favorite of an ex-lover of mine, who, six years ago, made me a mix cd of willy's stuff by way of introduction to his music and my lover's heart and mind at the time. i was in love with this person, and they were from new hampshire, a place i'd never been in 2004, so my feelings back then about both the music and the place i am experiencing right now were very fond, bordering on overly fond. now, here i am, six years and thousands of miles later, having totally forgotten willy porter and his--and my lover's--affect on me, being riveted by this music unheard for years, my heart breaking open for my love at 25, realizing i'm exactly where my ex would want to be--new hampshire is their home--a place as foreign to me as any other area of new england. but for right now, this moment, its exactly where i should be, remembering i have a past here and now where music, place, and love transcend time enough to make me reach out to someone i haven't had a conversation with in years. someone in whose eyes i used to see my future. someone who is part of my past, but also a part of my heart, which, with its constant rhythm, ever keeps me and those i love in the present.
so i text my ex to say it:
i miss you, k.i.p.